What a week it’s been in the Horsing Around house!

The contestants have already been faced with their first problem, Stinky the Horse.

Stinky (named this for obvious reasons) has been quite hostile and has been prone to random and extremely violent attacks on the housemates, with the main victim being Elizabeth; simply because she can’t move out of the way fast enough, due to her ecstasy disorder (see “Meet the Contestants”)

“Elizabeth and Stinky have a violent confrontation”

However certain precautions have been taken to ensure that these attacks become less frequent.  During the week, Alcohol was introduced into the house for the first time and a roster was drawn up by the housemates to see who would spike the horse’s water each night.

However this introduction of alcoholic beverages has come at a price. On the 5^th night, after consuming nearly 7 bottles of low grade Vodka, Johyni Hashokawa, decided to perform one of the greatest illusions of all time, live on TV.

The Magician Community has been up in arms over discussions about whether or not launching a small firework inside your own anus counts as an illusion…

"At this time, Johyni was starting to think the trick might have gone wrong.." 

Doctors say that Johyni will make a full recovery, due to good results on his anal reconstruction. However it is still unclear at this stage whether or not he will ever be able to perform his much loved act of “Cobumbo” ever again…

Due to Johyni’s shock exit, only four housemates remained, and all Four were up for eviction.

Gari has taken to walking around nude late at night. With much of this footage being unable to show during a pre-watershed timeslot, it was shown in the Late Night program, Horsing Around UNCUT.

Unfortunately, due to the excessive amount of footage of Gari, the UNCUT show has lost ratings, and has been subsequently cancelled.

"Ikmael views a whole new side to Gari........" 

Trent was providing the housemates with entertainment each night with his Piano Accordion, with renditions of the Michael Jackson hit “Thriller” and Europe’s “The Final Countdown”, however this has not been met with good feelings from the other contestants.

Due to a mixture of excessive alcohol intake, Johyni’s shock departure and Gari’s unwelcome Nudity, Ikmael finally snapped and proceeded to bash Trent’s accordion into the wall.

This was unsettling for the housemates, particularly for Trent, who didn’t speak for 48 hours, and stayed in his room.

It was this act which sent the house into a state of silence for the remaining days leading up to the eviction.

Ikmael stayed outside for much of this time, practicing his chants. Gari took this time to test out her new “Mummy is a Mime” routine, and Elizabeth spent all of the time lying on the kitchen floor, unable to get up without the assistance of the other housemates…

Indeed the only “active” contestant was infact Stinky, although due to the drink spiking, he now kept himself to himself and just stayed near his alcohol ladened horse trough…..

On the Final day, tensions were running high, with each contestant being nervous of the immanent eviction.

It turns out that it was Ikmael’s time to go. As the news came in via satellite, a S.W.A.T team infiltrated the house and forcibly removed Ikmael for questioning over his terrorist links…

"Ikmael gets escorted out of the Horsing Around House....by S.W.A.T"

And so with only three contestants now in the house (the return of Johyni is still unclear at this stage), the game is now heating up.

With only Two weeks away from the next eviction, each contestant will need all the help they can get if they are to become this years “Horsing around the House” winner….